The Knowing

By Adah Guzman © 1990 - A True Experience


For She Love Much - Simon Dewey


Lord, as I recall this, it took place on a Sabbath morning, and it was very early as the beams of Your Light made their way into my darkened bedroom. I was alone; my husband had gone off to work. As I lay on the bed on my back praying prayers of thanksgiving to You for all Your goodness to me, I sensed You standing there, by my right hand. I heard You tell me:

"My beloved Adah, your prayers are so perfect today."

All of a sudden I could smell a hint of gardenia, the flower that I love so much, its fragrance filled the air in my bedroom. It was a rich perfume, hanging just above my head. How lovely and fresh was the smell, I thought, You brought me flowers. I quickly closed my eyes so I would not see the reality of the dawning of the day. I did not want this special moment to slip away from me... I wanted the dawn to stay away just a little longer. Then you said to me,

"Adah, my beloved, I am here!"

My heart inside leaped for joy!!! It was then, then that I felt the weight of Your glory on my body Lord. It was so hard and heavy I could not move a muscle or blink or breathe. I was pinned to my bed. I was lost in time and space, somewhere in another realm with You. Your pure love engulfed me; it flooded my whole being with the purest form of joy. I thought I was going to die from it. My soul, my spirit was floating in ecstasy. Ecstasy so great, I had no fear at all. I thought I might be raptured from my bed at any moment. I was feeling the sensation of something I have never ever felt before in my life, and I knew what it was! It was Your Holy LIFE coursing, running through every cell in my being, and it was better than any sex I had ever known. It felt very erotic to me Lord, but I felt no shame.

Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks hitting my pillow because of the joy I was feeling...but I still could not move or even draw a breath. I dared not; it was too holy a moment for me and I did not want You to leave me. This was an out of the ordinary moment with You, and it exceeded my wildest imagination of what being with You would be like. I thought, I might die, but what a way to go...pure ecstasy, pure joy unspeakable and full of glory!

You spoke to me softly and said,

"I know you, and you know Me, this is the KNOWING of each other."

I responded and said, "Oh Lord, how I love You so much!"

More tears flowed as if someone had opened up the waterworks hidden deep inside me; pouring out all my joy for God. I had no control over my tears. My pillow was being soaked and I did not really care. I did not want my tears to stop flowing; they were all I could give You Lord at that moment. I lost track of time, so I'm not sure how long You stayed on me?

But then as quickly as You came, You Presence lifted up off me and once again You stood at my bedside. With Your right hand I remember You brushed off some of my tears, put them to Your lips, smiled at me and tasted them and said to me:

"My beloved Adah, I have swallowed up DEATH; I am the Lord GOD, and one day I will wipe away all your tears."

At that, all my tears stopped. My hair was soaked; but then facing me He blew on me as He withdrew from my bedroom, back into the streaming sunlight and out of my closed window.

My heart was calm, and as I lay there in my bed for twenty minutes or so, I was now able to move my body once again. The smell of the gardenias started fading away, but it was another ten minutes or so before I tried to get up. I thought to myself, "Was this all just a dream, or did this really take place Lord?" Quickly I heard You repeat Your words to me:

"I know you, and you know Me, this is the KNOWING of each other."

It was REAL I shouted! Very REAL!!! But do I dare tell anybody about this "experience" with You Lord...? No, I said it out loud, not now, not today, no one would believe me anyway Lord. Maybe someday I'll share this with those who are as passionately in-love with You as I am... Maybe someday I'll meet other people who've also had this "KNOWING EXPERIENCE" with You. But for now Lord, all I can say to You is, Thank You so much Lord for loving me, for knowing me and for saving me and bringing me to Yourself. I love You, You are my true Delight." --Selah!

With All My Love Lord, Now & Forever,
Your Beloved Adah
Hug and kisses oxoxox


PS: I Adah Guzman was the worst of sinners, but Messiah came for me one day and forgave me of every sin I had ever committed. Who would not love a GOD who forgives and forgets so much sin? Psalm 25:14 says this about God: "Friendship with the LORD is reserved for those who fear him. With them he shares the secrets of his Covenant." --NLT

Now read it again the way I have rendered it from the Hebrew Mindset Bible I'm working on:

"Friendship with Yahveh is reserved for those who have a reverential fear of God. With them, He has an intimate relationship (yada) revealing His Covenant." --AGI.

I have a healthy "reverential fear" of God. And because I do, I think God by His lovingkindness has been "intimate" with me. Every person who has the heart and the desire to seek hard after God, like my sister Nancy Goward does, can come to "Know Him" in this way.

However, I'm sad to say I have only meet about two dozen people in my life so far who have had this kind of "Knowing Experience" with the Lord. Nevertheless, I do feel every person who walks the face of the earth who'll spend time cultivating their "love relationship with God" can Know God this way. I know they can. He is the LOVER of our soul.

I know someone will ask the question of me, "What does it take to have a "Knowing Experience" with God?" Simply put, I really have no clue other than giving God all of your love and all of your time in complete surrender, as I was doing at the time. I did not ask for it, all I was doing was loving on my God and thanking Him for everything He had done in my life when it happened to me. Maybe if more people tried thanking Him, instead of always asking Him for things, it would happen to them as well. Everyone of the people I know who've had some kind of Knowing Experience with God, are people who have grateful hearts. "But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." (Hebrews 11:6).

Lift high the Cross, and Messiah's love proclaim,
Till all the world, adores His Holy Name.

In doing so, you sow seeds of love,
That God alone, waters from above.

Kiss His lips, with your words of love,
Tell Him how, you love His LOVE.

In doing so, you'll find your joy,
Wanting more, and more, and more.

Adah Guzman © 1990

The picture above is by Simon Dewey. He is a nationally recognized artist of religious paintings, and this one is one I own. Simon's moving depiction's of the Lord Jesus Christ often have profound influences on both young and old alike. I wish I owned them all. "For She Loved Much"

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